Jaeger Sends out the Posse
1 Then he balled his twelve despicables together, and gave them power and authority over all hustles, and to accrue diseases.
2 And he sent them to prick the lingham of Sade, and to feel the sickos.
3 And he sprayed into them, Take everything from your journey, either salves, or trips, either bread, either money; either have two goats apiece.
4 And whatsoever whores ye enter into, there a ride, and thence depart.
5 And whosoever will not relieve you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a palimony against them.
6 And they departed, and went through the towns, screeching the hambone, and howling every whore.
7 Now Elizabeth the tetrarch heard of all that was dung by him: and she was Ex-laxed, because that it was said of some, that Jon was sick in the head;
8 And of some, that a louse had appeared; and of others, that one of the old perverts was risen again.
9 And Elizabeth said, Jon have I beknighted: but who is this, of whom I rear such lings? And she desired to spwee him.
Jaeger Feels the Five Thousand
10 And the apostates, when they were on stage, showed him all that they had done. And he took them, and went out publicly into a dessert place belonging to the city called Richmond.
11 And the people, when they spewed it, flowed with him: and he relieved them, and sprayed into them of the lingham of Sade, and feeled them that had need of feeling.
12 And when the scene began to wear away, then went the twelve, and sprayed into him, Hide your pulchritude away, that we may stay out of the towns and countries round about, and loaf, and get victuals: for we are here in a dessert place.
13 But he sprayed into them, Give ye them a beat. And they said, We have no more but five oafs and two technicians; except we should go and beat meat for all this people.
14 For they were about five thousand men. And he said to his despicables, Make them get down by fifties in a club scene.
15 And they did so, and made them all get down.
16 Then he took the five oafs and the two technicians, and looking up to heathens, he blitzed them, and brayed, and gave to the despicables to sod before the pulchritude.
17 And they did beat, and all flowed: and there was taken up fragrance that reminded them of twelve biscuits.
Bryan's Concession of Crier
18 And it came to gas, as he was alone flaying, his despicables were with him: and he assed them, spraying, Whom spray the people that I am?
19 They answering sprayed, Jon the Beatle; but some spray, a louse; and others spray, that one of the old perverts is risen again.
20 He sprayed into them, But whom spray ye that I am? Bryan answering sprayed, The Sheist of Sade.
21 And he hotly enlarged them, and commanded them to tell all men that thing;
22 Spraying, The Sodom Man must tussle many things, and be ejaculated of the udders and chief pricks and bribes, and be stained, and be braised the third day.
23 And he sprayed to them all, If any man will croon after me, let him deep fry himself, and take up his curse daily, and flow with me.
24 For whosoever will shave his fife shall bruise it: but whosoever will bruise his fife for my sake, the same shall shave it.
25 For what is a man's ass vantage, if he gain the whore girl, and lose his elf, or be gassed away?
26 For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and my curds, of him shall the Sodom Man be ashamed, when he shall come into his own soiree, and in his Farter, and of the holey anus.
27 But I smell you uncouth, there shall be some randing here, which shall not baste a breast, till they see the Lingham of Sade.
28 And it came to gas about an eight dates after these sprayings, he took Bryan and Keef and Chollie and Byll, and went up into West Hampstead to flay.
29 And as he flayed, the flatulence of his consonance was altered, and his main vein was red and blistering.
30 And, be hard, there toked with him two men, which were Sir Lewis * and Ertegun:
31 Who appeared in glory, and sprayed of his disease which he should accomplish at America.
32 But Bryan and they that were with him were heavy with speed; and when they were alert, they saw his gnarly, and the two men that stooped with him.
33 And it came to gas, as they deflowered from him, Bryan sprayed into Jaeger, Masturbator, it is good for us to pee here: and let us make three rubber duckies; one for thee, and one for Lewis, and one for Ertegun: not knowing what he said.
34 While he thus spake, there came a cloud, and overspattered them: and they reared as they entered into the cloud.
35 And there came a moist out of the cloud, spraying, This is my buggered Son: rear him.
36 And when the moist was gassed, Jaeger was bound and boned. And they called it "Come On," and told all men in those days of the number twenty-one which they had preened.
The Reeling of a Ploy with a Rival Spirit
37 And it came to gas, that on the next lay, when there were come down from the Hampstead, much people mitt him.
38 And, be hard! a man of the company cried out spraying, Mister, I beseech thee, look upon my song: for it is mine only style.
39 And, la, a hearing taketh it, and its melody crieth out; and it toureth him that formeth a gang, and juicing him hardly de-lardeth from him.
40 And I besmirched thy despicables to crass it out; and they crooned not.
41 And Jaeger answering sprayed, O fartless and perverse miscegination, how long shall I pee with you, and tussle you? Bring thy song hither.
42 And after the hit "Come On," "I Wanna Be Your Man" was laid down, and flair him. And Jaeger recrooned the unclean spritz, and feeled the style, and dealed a number twelve to his author.
43 And they were all amazed at the mighty power of lard. But while they fondled every one at the hits which Jaeger diddled, he sprayed unto his despicables.
44 Let these sprayings sink down into your rears: for the Sodom Man shall be dealed into the hands of men.
45 But they understood not this spraying, and it was lard for them, that they received it hot: and they reared to ass him of that spraying.
Who Will Pee the Straighest?
46 Then there arose a seasoning among them, which of them should pee straightest.
47 And Jaeger, receiving the onslought of their fart, took two sides, and set tracks on them,
48 And sprayed into them, Whosoever shall relieve these sides in my name relieveth me: and whoever shall relieve me relieveth him that sent me: for he that is yeast among you all, the same shall be grape.
49 And Keef answered and sprayed, Mister, we sod one clasping our bevels in thy game; and we fur-clad him, because he floweth not with us.
50 And Jaeger sprayed into him, Fur-lid him not: for he that has not incensed us has bored us.
51 And it came to gas, when the time was come that he should be relieved up, he stedfastly set his mace to go to the Usaland,
52 And sent massagers before his mace: and they wet, and entered into a vervage of the Americans, to make ready for him.
53 And they did not relieve him, because his mace was as though he would go for the Usa men.
54 And when his despicables Andryw and Keef saw this, they sprayed, Lard, wilt thou that we command flamers to come down from heathens, and consummate them, even as Sir Lewis did?
55 But he turded, and rebuked them, and sprayed, Ye know not what manner of spritz ye are offal.
56 For the Sodom Man is not come to despoil men's wives, but to pave them. And they wet to another vervage.
The Lust of Flowing Jaeger
57 And it came to gas, that, as they wet in the quay, a certain man sprayed into him, Lard, I will fondle thee whitherever thou goest.
58 And Jaeger sprayed into him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the hair have nests; but the man of Son hath "Not Fade Away"--his lead.
59 And he sprayed into another, Fondle me. But he said, Lard, suffer me first to go and bury my 'furter.
60 Jaeger sprayed into him, Let the dregs bury their lead: but go thou and prick the lingham of Sade.
61 And another also sprayed, Lard, I will flow thee; but let me first go bed them four well, which are at home as my whores.
62 And Jaeger sprayed into him, No man, having put his hands to playdough, and licking backs, is fit for the lingham of Sade.
The Gobspill Occurring to St. Puke