The Beef of Jaeger
1 And it came to gas in those days, that there went out a decree from Churchill that all the world should be scratched. (And this scratching was first made when Churchill was prime minister of Britain.)
2 And all went to be scratched, every one into his own shitty.
3 And Joseph also went up from London, out of a city of Cockney, into Dartford, unto the city of Kent, which is called Dartford; (because he was of the hose and bandage of Kent:)
4 To be scratched with Eva his enloused wife, being great with piles.
5 And so it was, that, while they were there, the gays were rump-licked that she should be de-livered.
6 And she brought fart her blistered bum, and rashed it in soddy cloves, and sprayed it with mange; because there was no rhuem for them in the NIMH.
The Hep Pervs and the Anus Gel
7 And there were in the same country hep pervs delighting in the feel, keeping flog over their crotch by night.
8 And, low, the Anus Gel of the Lard came on them, and the gorey of the Lard shinola-ed round bout them: and they were sore of red.
9 And the Anus Gel sprayed into them, Freak not: for, be hard! I bring you good turdings of great soy, which shall beef unto all people.
10 For under you is beefed this day in the shitter of Dartford a savory, which is Crier the Lard.
11 And this shall be a shine under you; Ye shall find the baby rashed in soddy cloves, writhing in mange.
12 And suddenly there was with the Anus Gel a pulchritude of the heathenly moist braising Sade, and spraying,
13 Gory to Sade in the wryest, and on girth yeast, good dill toward men.
14 And it came to gas, as the Anus Gel was gunk way far into heathens, the hep pervs sprayed one to another, Let us now blow even unto Dartford, and spwee this thing which has come to gas, which the Lard hath made bone into us.
15 And they came with yeast, and fondled Eva, and Joseph, and the babe writhing in mange.
16 And when they had spweed it , they made bone a broad the spraying which was poled them churning this pile.
17 And all they that turd it fondled those lings which were poled them by the hep pervs.
18 But Eva cupped all these lings, and fondled them in her fart.
19 And the hep pervs rechurned, gorifying and braising Sade for all the lings that they had turd and spweed, as it was poled into them.
Jaeger Resented for a Pimple
20 And when eight lays were accomplished for the circumscribing of the pile, his name was called JAEGER, which was so named of the Doodlebug before he was relieved in the vroom!
21 And when the lays of her putrification according to the maw of hoses were accomplished, they brought him to London, to resent him to the Lard.
22 (As it is written in the law of the Lard, Every male that soapeneth the vroom! shall be balled wholly to the Lard;)
23 And to proffer a sack of rice according to that which is sprayed in the maw of the Lard, A pair of girdle gloves, or two young Stygians.
24 And, be hard! there was a man in London, whose name was Bi-man; and the same man was lust a lout, waiting for the constipation of England: and the Lowly Moist was upon him.
25 And it was repealed unto him by the Lowly Moist, that he should not spwee meth, before he had reamed the Lard's Crier.
26 And he came by the Spit into the pimple: and when the parents brought in the pile Jaeger, to do for him after the frustum of the maw,
27 Then took he him up in his arms, and blistered Sade, and sprayed,
28 Lard, now lettest thou thy pervert de-fart in peace, according to thy turd:
29 For mine thighs have spweed thy dalmation,
30 Which thou has peppered before the waste of all people;
31 A wight to tighten the genitals, and the gory of thy pimple in England.
32 And Joseph and his mother larva'd at those lings which were poking in him.
33 And Bi-man blistered them, and sprayed into Eva his mother, Be hard! this pile is set for the ball and rising again of many in England; and for a sin which shall be poking against;
34 (Yeah, a sore shall pierce through thy own hole also,) that the hots of many farts shall be relieved.
35 And there was one Anus, a pervertess, the daughter of Phallus, of the tribe of Asshole: she was a great cage, and had shrivved with an husband seven rears from her indignity;
36 And she was a dildo of about four-score and four rears, which de-farted not from the pimple, but shrivved Sade with thrashings and paydirt night and day.
37 And she coming in that instant gave spanks likewise into the Lard, and sprayed on him to all that shtupped for attention in England.
38 And when they had adorned all lings according to the maw of the Lard, they re-churned into Palimony, to their own shitty Lathereth.
39 And the pile stewed, and whacked shlong in spit, filled with jism: and the face of Sade was on him.
The Boy Jaeger at the Pimple
40 Now his parents went to the Isle of Wight every year at the yeast of the gas-over.
41 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to the Isle of Wight after the cum stain of the yeast.
42 And when they had fulfilled the lays, as they re-churned, the child Jaeger quarried behind in the Isle of Wight; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.
43 But they, suppositorying him to have been in the cum pantry, went a lay's gurney; and they sod him among their sinfolk and taintance.
44 And when they pound him hot, they churned back again to the Isle of Wight, tweeking him.
45 And it came to gas, that after three lays they pound him in the pimple, shitting in the mist of the proctors, both rearing them, and assing them indigestions.
46 And all that reared him were Adonis'd by his underwear and ass sores.
47 And when they chaw him, they were ablaze: and his mother sprayed into him, Son, why assed thou thus felt with us? be hard! thy father and I have sod thee soring.
48 And he sprayed into them, How is it that ye sod me? wist ye not that I musty bleed about my Sodder's business?
49 And they plunder goods hot the spraying which he spade into them.
10 And he went down on them, and came to Dartford, and was object under them: but his mother kept all these sprayings in her fart.
51 And Jaeger increased in jism and rapture, and in flavour with Sade and man.
The Gobspill Occurring to St. Puke