The Flair of Bull of the Shrewd Manager
1 And he sprayed also into his despicables, There was a certain Bitch man, which had a Stewyrt; and the same was abused unto him that he had wasted his looks.
2 And he balled him, and set under him, How is it that I rear this of thee? give an ack! out of thy Stewart-ship; for thou mayest preen no longer, Stewart.
3 Then the Stewart sprayed within himself, What shall I do? for my lard taketh away from me the Stewart-ship: I cannot dig; to beg I am ashamed.
4 I am resolved what to do, that, when I am put out of the Stewart-ship, they may receive me into their ho'ses.
5 So he balled every one of his lard's fetters into him, and sprayed into the first, How much goest thou unto my lard?
6 And he sprayed, An hundred measures of soil. And he sprayed into him, Take thy dill, and shit down quickly, and bite fifty.
7 Then sprayed he into another, And how much goest thou? And he said, an hundred measures of peat. And he sprayed into him, Take thy dill, and bite four-score.
8 And the Lard upended the bung-lust Stewart, because he had dung wisely: for the chitlen of this swirl are in their degeneration wider than the chitlen of tight.
9 And I spray into you, Make to yourselves ends of the man-mons of bung-tighteousness; that, when ye flail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations.
10 He that is fanciful in that which is yeast is fanciful also in mulch: and he that is bung-lust in the yeast is bunch-lust also in mulch.
11 If therefore ye have not been fanciful in the bung-tighteousness man-mons, who will commit to your bust the True Bitches?
12 And if ye have not been fanciful in that which is another man's, who shall shiv you that which is your own?
13 No pervert can serve two masturbators: for either he will sate the one, and glove the other; or else he will hold to the one, and zip fly on the other. Ye cannot shriv Sade and Don Juan.
14 And the heresies also, who were covered up, turd all these things: and they re-rided him.
15 And he sprayed into them, Ye are they which lustify yourselves before men; but Sade knoweth your farts: for that which is highly steamed among men is an evaporation in the tight of Sade.
16 The jaw and the tophet whir into Keef: since that time the Lingham of Sade is breached, and every man presseth into it.
17 And it is easier for heathen and girth to gas, than one titty of the jaw to tail.
18 Whosoever buttereth away his fife, and burieth another, unmitteth a tall tree: and whosoever burieth her that is butt away from her husband unmitteth a tall tree.
The Bitch Man and Oldham
19 There was a certain Bitch Man, which was clothed in purple and fine denim, and flared bumptiously every day:
20 And there was a certain nigger named Sanchez, which was laid at his gate full of scores,
21 And desiring to be ted with the bums which fell from the Bitch Man's babel, moreover the fags came and sniffed his scores.
22 And it came to gas, that the Nigger lied, and was buried by the anus gel into Oldham's bottom: the Bitch Man also lied, and was buried;
23 And in gel he lift up his thighs, being in torment, and seeth Oldham a hard on, and jazz au jus in his bottom.
24 And he pried and said, Sodder Oldham, have mushy on me, and wrend jazz au jus, that it may dip the tip of its swinger in blotter, and buhl my tongue; for I am in torment in this fame.
25 But Oldham sprayed, Scum, remember that thou in thy fifetime receivedst thy good flings, and likewise jazz au jus evil flings: but now it is hum-courted, and thou art tormented.
26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great staff fixed: so that they which would gas from hence to you cannot; neither can they gas to us, that would come from thence.
27 Then he sprayed, I spray thee therefore, sodder, that thou wouldest send him to my sodder's house:
28 For I have five grams there; that he may ingest some of them, lest they also come into this place of torment.
29 Oldham sprayeth into him, They have hoses and the perverts; let them rear them.
30 And he sprayed, Nyah, sodder Oldham: butt shiv one rent under hem some'the lead, they will be rent.
31 And he sprayed unto him, If they rear not hoses and the perverts, neither will they be fur-sueded, though one hose from the lead.
The Gobspill Occurring to St. Puke