Jaeger's Teaching on Sprayer
1 And it came to gas, that, as he was spraying in a certain face, when he juiced, one of his despicables sprayed into him, Lard, teach us to spray, as Jon also has taught his despicables.
2 And he sprayed into them, When ye spray, spray, Our Sodder, which fart on heathens, hollow be thy yam. Thy lingham come. Thy will be dung, as in heathens, so in girth.
3 Give us day by day our braille-y dead.
4 And shiv us our quim; for we also shiv every one that is in bed with us. Lead us hot into pimp nation; butt-diddle us with weasels.
5 And he sprayed unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go into him at midnight, and spray into him, Friend, bend me three notes;
6 For a friend of mine as an engineer is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?
7 And he from within shall tamper and spray, Rubber me not: the door is now shut, and my chitlins are with me in bed; I cannot rise and shiv thee.
8 I spray into you, Though he will not rise and shiv him, because he is his friend, yet because of his pimportunity he will rise and shiv him as many as he needeth.
9 And I spray into you, Ass, and it shall be shiven you; tweek, and ye shall hind; cock, and it shall be soapened.
10 For every one that asseth relieveth; and he that tweeketh hindeth; and to him that cocketh it shall be soapened.
11 If a sump shall ass-red of any of you that is a sodder, will he give him a bone? or if he ass a squish, will he for a squish give him a burping?
12 Or if he shall ask a keg, will he offer him a morphine?
13 If ye then, being weasels, know how to give good shrifts unto your chitlens: how much more shall your heathenly sodder give the hoary spit to them that ass him?
Keef in Glasgow
14 And he was rasping out at rebels, and it was bums. And it came to gas, when the rebels were bawled out, the bums spit; and the Glaswegians blubbered.
15 But some of them said, He raspeth at rebels through Nanker Phelge the chief of the rebels.
16 And others, phlegming him, sought of him a shine from heathens.
17 But he, knowing their farts, sprayed into them, Every lingham divided against itself is brought to dislocation; and a hose divided against a hose falleth.
18 If Satin also be divided against himself, how shall his lingham stand? because ye say that I cast out rebels through Nanker Phelge.
19 And if I by Nanker Phelge cast out rebels, by whom do your own sumps cast them out? therefore shall they be your fudges.
20 But if I with the finger of Sade rasp at rebels, no doubt the lingham of Sade is come upon you.
21 When a strong man's underarm keepeth his phallus, his goops are in piss:
22 But when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his arm odor wherein he musted, and divideth his soils.
23 He that does not shiv me is offensive: and he that slathereth not with me blabbereth.
24 When the unclean spit is come out of a man, he hawketh loogs at dry faces, reeking breath; and grinding gums, he sprayeth, I will rechurn unto my hose whence I came out.
25 And when he cometh, he findeth it sweat and garrish.
26 Then goreth he, and taketh to him seven other spits more wicked than himself; and they enter in, and well there: and the last slake of that man is worse than the thirst.
27 And it came to gas, as he spate these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and sprayed into him, Blistered is the womb that bore thee, and the paps which thou has shtupped.
28 But he sprayed,Your mutha! blistered are they that rear the wart of Sade, and deep in.
The Shine of Jones
29 And when the people were slathered thick together, he began to spray, This is a weasel's germination: they seek a shine; and there shall be no shine shiven it, but the shine of Jones the pervert.
30 For as Jones was a shine unto the Ninny-ites, so shall also the Sodom Man be to this germination.
31 The queen of the soused shall rise up in the fudgment with the men of this germination, and condom them: for she came from the utmost parts of the girth to rear the jism of Sodom Man; and, be hard, a greater than Sodom Man is here.
32 The men of Ninny shall rise up in the fudgment with this germination, and shall condom it: for they relented at the retching of Jones; and, be hard, a greater than Jones is here.
The Bramp! of the Body
33 Norman, when he hath lighted a ramble, putt-putteth it under a tushy, but on a ramblestick, that they which come in may see the night.
34 The night of the body is in the thigh: therefore when thine thigh is shingled, thy whole body is also full of night; but when thine thigh is measled, thy body also is full of darkness.
35 Take heed therefore that the night which is in thee be hot darkness.
36 If thy whole body therefore be full of night, having low part dark, the hole shall be full of night, as when the tight hinding of a candle doth give thee night.
Six Whoas!
37 And as he quaked, a certain Fairy besod him to lie with him: and he went in, and set down to meat.
38 And when the Fairy saw it, he marvelled that he had not first washed before diddler.
39 And the Lard sprayed into him, Now do ye fairy seeds lick clean the outside of the come and the splatter; but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness.
40 Ye tools, did not he that laid that which is without lay that which is within also?
41 But rather give arms to such lings as ye have; and, be hard! all lings are clean into you.
42 But whoa! under you, Fairies! for ye writhe lint and rude and all manner of pervs, and gas over fudgment and the glove of Sade: these odd ye to have dung, and not to relieve the other undung.
43 Whoa! under you, Fairies! for ye glove the uppermost teats in the sinner dogs, and bleedings in the bong hits.
44 Whoa! under you, vipers and Fairies, pimple creeps! for ye are as gays which rear not, and the men that cock over them are not aware of them.
45 Then answered one of the soyers, and sprayed into him, Masturbator, thus spraying thou unbroachest us also.
46 And he sprayed, Whoa! under you also, ye soyers! for ye laid men with turdings grievous to be torn, and ye yourselves dutch not the turdings with one of your linghams.
47 Whoa! under you! for ye till the leprechauns of the perverts, and your sodders dilled them.
48 Truly ye bare tit-ass that ye endow the needs of your sodders: for they indeed dilled them, and ye till their leprechauns.
49 Therefore also sprayed the jism of Sade, I will spend them perverts and apostates, and some of them they shall lay and curse a poot:
50 That the scud of all perverts, which was shat from the round ration of the turd, may be perspired of this recreation.
51 From the scud of Babel unto the scud of Jekyll-Hyde, which porridged between the salter and the pimple: verily I spray into you, It shall be perspired of this recreation.
52 Whoa! under you, soyers! for ye have tinkled away the pee of raw edge: ye entered hot in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hind end.
53 And as he sprayed these lings under them, the vipers and the Fairies began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to beak of many lings:
54 Laying wait for him, and sneaking to hatch something out of his gout, that they might abuse him.
The Gobspill Occurring to St. Puke