August 28 Murdock

MOMMA MAKES A BIRD LIKE IT'S THANKSGIVING, because I love my little boy and girl--but I know it's for me getting back on my feet--and I cut it. The sun going down outside turns all the houses gold as usual and I realize it will look like that for a long time. When I was a kid I thought I would get gold when I grew up, that's why I saw it everywhere when others didn't.

But now I know it's just that it will look like that for a long time. That's all the gold I get, seeing the sun set behind Berkeley turn the houses all brilliant and festive. It's free, that half-hour a day. And so are waterfalls from open hydrants in the summer. And the dancing of leaf spirits that smell like the past. Plus little opening crocuses in front of the laundromat. Wonder where Carol is. . . .

Damn, it's not easy being a grownup.

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